Most of us have been involved with planning a birthday party for a friend, colleague or spouse. And I’m sure most of us have broken out into a sweat at just the very thought of having to plan a birthday party for someone important to us. One thing I find when I attend these types of birthday parties is that quite often the planning is centered around what the planner wanted or liked. And we’ve all been around those couples where one spouse says to the other “I really don’t want anything special for my birthday”. Only to find out that they really did WANT something for their birthday. Oh brother!
Should You Listen to Your Spouses Wishes When Planning a Birthday Party?
The immediate answer is, of course, yes. I know my spouse asked me if I wanted something special for my milestone birthdays. And my answer was truly no. And my wife doubled checked a few times to make sure I just wasn’t saying that and was really hoping for something different. I wasn’t.
Of course we always have the best intentions when planning a birthday party for our spouse. We want to let them know that while we love them 365 days a year we really want them to have that one special day. But as I mentioned above quite often that special day involves what the planner thinks would be a special day as opposed to what the actual person wants to do on their special day. It truly is dependent on the birthday girl or boy. If they like a quiet day with their immediate family and if you’re planning a birthday party that involves 20 or so friends and family, the birthday party will probably not be what they are looking for. If they want a quiet day you really should give them a quiet day. Doesn’t mean you can’t surprise them. Maybe a drive to their favorite spot in the country with the surprise picnic lunch with their favorite foods and wine is just the thing to make their birthday special.
What to Tell Friends Planning a Birthday Party for Your Spouse
When my wife turned 40 I honored her word and took her (to have a quiet birthday with just us) to what she thought was just going to be lunch at a resort just outside of the city we lived in. The surprise came when lunch was done and the waitress brought our room key over instead of our lunch check. Well she loved it and actually so did I. But many of her friends approached me and said that I really should have been planning a surprise 40th birthday party. I know my wife and she would have killed me had I followed through. What I told everyone that approached me was that she had requested many, many times that I not surprised her by planning a birthday party with many guests. I will admit I took a lot of flak from her friends but I held firm. After all it’s really about her birthday and therefore it’s her wishes that mattered the most. While she didn’t want a surprise and I guess what I did really could be classified as surprise, she was happy because the day turned into something she wanted as opposed to a day where she was the center of attention (something she didn’t want).
So if you are planning a birthday party for your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend the rule of thumb is that the birthday planning should match the personality of the person you are planning it for. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, rather it can be something simple and thoughtful. After all the best birthday gifts are not the ones that you buy in a store rather they are the ones that you take the time to make. Just ask your mother – all of the cards from you that she has kept over the years are the ones you made not the ones you bought.